


Baby Can I Hold You?

by Darknightjess (orphan_account), jay_linden



Series: Baby Can I Hold You [1]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-18
Updated: 2009-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 07:48:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Darknightjess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jay_linden/pseuds/jay_linden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Lyrics from Tracy Chapman's <i>Baby can I hold you</i>.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Baby Can I Hold You?

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics from Tracy Chapman's _Baby can I hold you_.

_Sorry  
Is all that you can't say  
Years gone by and still  
Words don't come easily  
Like sorry like sorry_

**The Two Towers Premiere**

Sean looks around as one hobbit jumps on another one and they barely miss tumbling to the ground. He shakes his head and waves as they whoop and call his name. Tugging at his jacket he stands a bit straighter and scans the crowd, trying to appear nonchalant.

"You know it's a lost cause," a softly accented voice comes from behind him. "They'll get you sooner or later, and any time straightening up is going to be time totally wasted."

A soft chuckle rises up and Sean feels a funny flutter in his chest that, any other time he might associate with a good footy win or a bad cut of meat, but here and now he knows it is only one thing. "David." He says and turns. "Hello." He quickly takes in the sight of the other man. "Ai, they'll get me, but I'll at least make them work for it. How are you?" He asks, smiling.

"No, you wouldn't want to make it easy on them, would you," David smiles, laughing softly. "I'm good. I can't quite believe I'm here, honestly. Was the premiere for Fellowship like this?" he asks, looking around at the crowds of people.

"Even worse. The boys' handlers hadn't quite taught them the fine art of restraint yet." Sean says and then smiles as Orlando runs past chasing Dominic with a toy sword. "Like now." He stops talking and fidgets, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets.

"Yeah... that was money well spent," David snorts, shaking his head and laughing. "You look good, Sean. How've you been?"

"Good." Sean says. "I - uh - I've missed you." His voice drops and it's takes an effort not to shuffle his feet.

"I missed you too," David says, a brief flickering frown crossing his face before he smiles again. "I was always sorry we lost touch."

"I - I shouldn't have..."_...let you go._ "Life gets busy. Maybe we can have lunch tomorrow, before we leave?"

"I'd like that. We're not flying home until the day after, so that should work out fine," David nods, smiling a bit wider.

"We?" Sean asks, head cocked.

"Yeah... I'm flying back with Craig." David tilts his head in mirror to Sean's. "You didn't know?"

"Know?" Sean repeats, suddenly sure that speech used to come easier than this.

David looks around, making sure no one's in earshot. "About me and Craig," he says, his voice soft.

"Oh - uh - no." Sean says, frowning and then smiling at the other man. "Uh - so - tha's good. Craig - he's a good bloke. Steady and all. You and Craig, huh?"

"Yeah," David says, catching the frown on Sean's face, and not buying the smile. "Yeah, me and Craig. For a bit now."

"Good. Yeah, good. Congratulations." Sean says and then looks across the room. "Ah well, I see a dwarf trying to get my attention."

"Right... of course," David nods, still not sure what to make of the look on Sean's face. "Lunch tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, lunch. I'll see you then." Sean flashes a smile and claps David on the back and moves away, heading across the room, face set and smile grim.

"See you then," David repeats, frowning at the deja vu, certain they've had almost this same conversation before. _When he left._

 

The next afternoon, Sean smoothes at his trousers and straightens the napkin in his lap. Taking a sip of his water he glances toward the restaurant door.

It's about five more minutes before David shows up, easily finding Sean in the crowded restaurant. He smiles across the room, heading over to him and taking the seat opposite. "I looked for you a few times last night, but you were always on the move it seemed."

"Well, there were so many people to see." Sean says, smiling. "I'm glad you could make it - to lunch."

"So am I. It really has been too long, Sean." David grins back at him, then focuses on his menu, taking very little time to decide.

"Way too long." Sean murmurs.

David closes the menu and looks up. "You never called me back."

* * *

_Forgive me  
Is all that you can't say  
Years gone by and still  
Words don't come easily  
Like forgive me forgive me_

**During the filming of the Lord of the Rings movies - The dark of night**

Sean slips the keycard into the door and opens it slowly. Moving quietly across the room, he smiles as David gives a small snore. Leaning onto the bed, Sean presses a kiss to the man's bare shoulder, hand going to brush back a soft lock of hair.

David's sleeping, but lightly, murmuring softly at the first touch of Sean's hand.

"Mmm." Sean smiles and stretches out next to the warm body. He reaches and nuzzles into his neck, nose smelling the sleep scent of him as he kisses the tender skin at David's ear.

He's gotten so used to this, the slow, hazy feeling of waking up with Sean's hands and lips moving over his body, his arrival in David's bed so perfectly timed each night you could set your watch by it.

Pushing the covers back, Sean pulls his sweats down and lifts one leg, sliding it across David's legs, rubbing and humming deep in his chest at the drag shift of skin. He rubs his wide hand over the broad back, fingers kneading into tight muscle.

He moans softly this time, relaxing even more than he already is- if that's even possible- and pushing back against Sean, his head going back, hair brushing just against his shoulder.

"Hello." Sean rumbles out as his hand moves to brush along David's crease, the soft skin warm as he lightly rubs the pucker. Kissing David's shoulder again, he rolls up and opens the nightstand drawer, pulling out a condom and the half empty bottle of lube.

"Mmm... hi," David murmurs back, his voice just a whispered breath. He shifts his legs a bit wider, already anticipating what's coming.

Sean rolls onto his back and makes quick work of the condom and lube. He smears his fingers and as he rolls back, kneeling up, he presses one gently into David. "Yesss." He sighs out, moving it and opening the man for him.

David groans in response, the slow almost sleepy pace exactly what he wants. What he needs. He relaxes around Sean's finger, his body rocking forward slowly with each press of his finger.

Crooking up and rubbing, Sean adds a second finger, scissoring them for a minute before he pulls them free. "Lift up luv." He pats David's hip lightly.

Still purring softly, David shifts up and into position, his hips staying in slight but constant motion. "Please?" he whispers, his head hanging down slightly, breathing faster.

"Yeah." Sean purrs and lays one hand on David's back, the other guiding his cock to the man's slick and open entrance. Pushing, he feels the tight squeeze and then give of the ring of muscle as he slips inside. Grunting, Sean stops and then rocks forward, beginning a slow steady movement.

"Oh god," David breathes, his fingers fisting gently at the sheets as he rocks back, counter to each gentle thrust from Sean. He moans again, tensing and releasing around Sean's cock, just enjoying the feel of him as they move.

As Sean moves in David, he thinks that this warmth, this feeling of fitting is the most perfect thing he's ever known. Thrusting, slow and steady, the only sounds in the room are the slight moans and grunts, the brush and press of flesh. After a while, as the heat coil tightens in his belly, Sean slides a hand around David's hip and down the stroke his cock.

Timing. With Sean, timing always seems to be everything- always coming in the door at the same time every night. Always knowing the exact moment that he _needs_ him to touch him, right before he needs to ask for it. He groans deep in his chest, one hard thrust into his hand before he settles back into the steady pace again, cock slick and hard.

Widening his stance, knees opening, Sean thrusts harder, hips making stuttery motions as the rhythm takes on a desperate momentum. "Ai, yes." He breathes out, head hanging down and hair sweat damp as he moans louder. "Come on now, that's it." He mumbles as the tension pools in his groin.

"Yes... oh god, please, yes," David nearly whimpers, managing only another few strokes before he tenses and comes, pulsing hard over Sean's hand with a soft cry.

Grunting, Sean stills as he feels his release wash through him. He shakes, hips finally slowing and stopping as he gasps, dragging air into his lungs. "God." Sean stammers, carefully pulling out. He pats David's back, rubbing at the warm sweaty skin. Leaning back, he removes the condom and grabs a handful of tissue, handing them to David. Sean tumbles a bit, laying back, arm over his eyes and smile on his face.

"Ta," David says, his voice rough as he takes the tissues and tidies up quickly, tossing them in the bin and moving to curl up against Sean, his head pillowed against his shoulder. A soft kiss and he's already drifting, his arm snugged tightly across Sean's chest.

"Mmhm." Sean says, sleep taking him.

The sky's barely showing any gray when Sean stands and pulls on his sweats. He leans and kisses David's cheek, smiling softly as he leaves, heading back to his room.

 

**During the filming of the Lord of the Rings movies - The light of day**

"Oh no ya don't." Sean growls and swats at Dominic as he leans across the table and makes a grab for his roll. "Get on with you now. There's not a one of you I can't put over my knee." He says and laughs as the hobbits tumble over themselves toward Bernard and the box of cookies he's opening. "Like wee monkeys." Sean grumbles and spears a wedge of potato.

"Gonna put me over your knee then?" a familiar voice comes from his left, a hand on his right slipping over Sean's plate to steal the roll that Dominic had been after a few moments ago.

"I'm not entirely sure he's up to it, David... he's a bit old, you know," Viggo says, plunking down beside Sean and taking a bite of the roll, grinning at him as David takes a seat across from them both.

"M'not old." Sean sniffs. "I'm - experienced." He says, pleased smile and he nods. "Yes, that's it."

"Viggoooo." A voice whines from across the tent. "Was it your idea to make us stay half the damned night tonight to get a moonlight scene?"

Sean laughs and looks up at David, wrinkles around his eyes.

"Does that sound like something I would do, Dominic?" Viggo calls back, not even looking up from his bun.

"Yes, you mad bastard." Comes the reply from another table.

Sean snickers. "Viggo, it appears you aren't popular today."

"You're mistaken. I assure you, I'm very well beloved," Viggo says, reaching for Sean's drink and taking a sip. David just shakes his head at the both of them and laughs.

"Uh huh. Is that why you walked around with purple socks for a week?" Sean asks, eyebrow raised.

Viggo's eyes narrow. "I will find out who did that. Believe me."

"It was a group effort, I'm sure, so what does it matter?" David laughs. "Just be glad they weren't on your feet at the time," he points out.

Sean snorts. "Or get ya drunk and paint your arse blue." He says and leans in. "I heard poor Billy got a rash from it."

"Well, some of the stuff they've got in those blue dyes..." David trails off.

"Experience speaking?" Sean asks, trying to contain a smile.

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you, and our noses just match up so nicely on camera with that whole sibling thing," David grins back at Sean.

"Yeah, me lil brother." Sean says and holds back a chuckle at the image that conjures. He returns David's smile and then winks.

"Uh, David- you might want to-" Viggo cuts off as a bun bounces off the back of David's head. "Duck," he finishes. "If it makes you feel any better, I think they were aiming for Sean," he adds helpfully, picking the bun up and getting up from the table. "Be right back," he says, grinning evilly and looking over to the table the bun had come from.

"Monkeys I tell ya. I swear I saw Elijah picking ticks off of Orlando yesterday." Sean shakes his head laughing as a squeal and screech is heard from across the room. "If our king has his way and we stay out for the moonlight shot, it'll be very late when we get back tonight." He says, voice suddenly pitched low.

"Of course," David says, his voice low, casual. He looks across the room and laughs. "It seems like the king is outnumbered. Feel like lending him a hand?"

"For Gondor?" Sean asks, laughing and standing.

"For Gondor," David nods firmly, grinning back at Sean before hollering out "TO THE KING!"

* * *

_But you can say baby  
Baby can I hold you tonight  
Maybe if I told you the right words  
At the right time you'd be mine_

**The day after The Two Towers Premiere**

Sean looks at David, he can feel the seconds spiral out. Finally he lowers his eyes to the tabletop. "I.. "He starts and then fidgets.

"I'm sorry," David sighs, waving it off. "Forget it. I was just surprised that you didn't, after you left."

"No. Don't - don't apologize. I - I shouldn't have left - without saying anything." Sean says, frown tight on his face.

"I didn't expect anything more, Sean." _What I hoped for... well, I was an idiot._ "It was a long time ago."

"Just because we didn't expect anything more, doesn't mean that we - uh - we couldn't have wanted more." Sean smoothes his hand over the fold of napkin, not meeting David's gaze.

David's head jerks up, staring at Sean a few moments. "Look at me. Please?"

Sean clears his throat, taking a breath and then raises his head and looks at David, expression neutral. He lifts his chin minutely.

He looks into Sean's eyes for long moment, then sighs, breaking eye contact. "Dammit, Sean... you could have said something. Anything."

Nodding, Sean glances around before straightening the napkin again. "Something." He looks at David.

"Something," David echoes, still not looking up. "I guess I could have too."

"David?" Sean starts and then gives his head the barest of shakes and relaxes back against his chair. "Sorry.. never mind." He mumbles.

"Haven't we not said enough things, Sean?" David points out softly.

"I - I'd like to - just - hold you. Shite, I know - I know you can't but - I'd just like to kiss you once more."

David starts to shake his head, then stops, running his hand through his hair. _Don't do this. Don't._ He sighs again. _I have to._ "Go to your room, Sean," he says, his eyes focused on the table.

_Bloody idiot, what did you expect him to say?_ Sean pushes his chair back, head down. "M'sorry David." His voice is a quiet rumble. "Sorry, bye."

"Sean?" His voice is even softer as he reaches for his glass of water and takes a sip, not looking at Sean. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Oh? Oh. Oh!" Sean's ears turn red. "Yeah. Um. Okay." He stands, brushing at his trousers, trying to hide the fact his cock is a thickening bulge. "Ten minutes." He repeats and nods, moving toward the door.

David watches him the whole way out, finishing the glass of water and wishing like hell it was scotch. He opens his wallet and drops money on the table, refusing to look at the picture of him and Craig he knows is tucked behind his drivers license, getting up and shoving it back in his pocket as he gets up to leave. _I need to know._

In the room Sean paces. He unbuttons his shirt and cuffs, kicking off his shoes and pouring a drink.

It's just under ten minutes when David shows up at the door, not even hesitating before knocking softly.

Sean opens the door and stares at David a second before stepping back. "Hey."

He steps in, closing the door behind him. "Hey," he echoes back. This is different. Looking at Sean like this. Not just waking up to arms wrapping around him, Sean's cock brushing against his naked back. Daylight.

Stepping to David, Sean smiles and reaches to touch his cheek. "Can - can I kiss you?"

"I really wish you would," David murmurs, his eyes half closing as Sean's hand brushes against his skin.

Sean leans in and let's his mouth press gentle and warm over David. He licks out, tasting the man slowly. "Mmm." He sighs.

David's hand comes up and slips into Sean's hair, pulling him in closer and deepening the kiss, his other arm lacing around him and pulling him in closer. _It could have been like this. All the time._

Eyes sliding closed, Sean whimpers out a bit before pulling back, eyes flashing. "I - I want ya - David," he stops, tongue licking out over his lip before continuing. "Will ya - fuck me?"

He can't help but look surprised at that, pulling back from the kiss to look at Sean. His lips part to ask him if he's serious, then close again as he nods.

Smiling, Sean returns the nod and steps back, pulling off his shirt and unfastening his trousers.

David steps in before he gets the shirt off all the way, tracing his hands over Sean's arms as it slides away. His hands move lower, sliding down over his lower back, just resting against the curve of his ass. "I missed you," he admits, barely a whisper.

"You too. Not just this." Sean says, desperate for David to understand his meaning. "But talking to you and - and - not _just_ this."

"I didn't say I missed your cock, Sean," David's shirt comes up over his head and he presses his body against him again, lips moving against his jaw, brushing kisses over his skin, then whispering in his ear. "I said I missed _you_."

Fingers moving over firm flesh and soft skin, Sean hums and arches, pressing into David. "I want you. Need you."

"I'm here. I'm right here," David whispers, lips pressing tight against Sean's before he pulls away again, leading him towards the bed and following him down.

Sean rolls with David, opening to him as they lay down.

 

Later, sweaty and gulping air, Sean pats David's thigh and grunts as he rolls his head, eyes slipping closed.

"Shhh," David murmurs, his hand moving through his hair. He leans up to kiss Sean's temple, then settles back, watching him as he falls asleep.

Smiling, a soft rumbled snore escapes Sean as he drifts off, sated and happy.

David's hand moves over Sean's cheek, his smile much more bittersweet. He waits until Sean is deeply asleep before slipping out of bed and heading for the shower, dressed and closing the door behind him only a few moments later. _So now you know. Feel better for it?_ "Fuck you," he murmurs under his breath to the voice in his head. "Fuck. You."

* * *

_I love you  
Is all that you can't say  
Years gone by and still  
Words don't come easily  
Like I love you I love you_

**A week after The Two Towers Premiere**

Sean lays the paper on the table as he hears a gust of wind and rain rattle the shutters. It's been over a week since the Two Towers premiere and the papers are still carrying pictures and interviews. He smiles softly, sighing and walking toward the kitchen.

He's been standing there for ten minutes, lifting his hand a few times, but never quite managing to knock on the door. Soaked through, and feeling like an idiot, he presses the buzzer, then wraps his arms around himself, teeth chattering.

Stopping Sean frowns toward the door before walking back across the room and pulling it open. He stands and gapes. "Wha? David?" Blinking he takes the man's arm and pulls him into the house. "What in the bloody hell...?

"I-" David tries to speak, teeth chattering too hard to get anything coherent out. He tries to brush his hair out of his eyes, water streaming from his clothes onto the floor.

"Oh good lord. You daft bugger. Come here." Sean bustles David into the house, tsking as he gets him in to the living room. "Let's get you out of these wet things."

"S-sorry," David chatters out, fumbling fingers moving against the buttons of his coat, wincing as he sees the trail of water he's leaving behind.

"Shhh, enough of that." Sean makes quick work of David's clothes, wrapping a quilt from the couch around him and rubbing at his arms. "Sit." He says and points at the couch. "Let me get you some tea and dry clothes."

He nods, pulling the quilt in closer, his cheeks pink from cold and embarrassment. "Thanks."

Sean moves about, heart inexplicably light as he makes tea and picks out a pair of sweats and a soft flannel shirt with a pair of thick socks. Back in the living room he smiles as the man. "C'mon now, let's get you warm."

"Thanks," David repeats, still-shaking hands reaching for the socks, shivering harder as the quilt slips lower.

Sean tsks more and pushes David's hands away. He kneels in front of the man and pulls a foot to him, rolling the socks on. "Here, shirt then stand."

It takes more help from Sean than David would prefer, but between the two of them they get him dressed and back on the couch, quilt wrapped around him again. Hands steadier now, he takes the hot drink from Sean, preferring to let it warm his hands than drink it right now.

Pulling the footstool up in front of David, Sean touches his knee. "What are you doing here? And why are you half drowned?"

"I was outside... didn't know if you were home or not." It's a crappy excuse, and he's hedging, that much is clear.

"Outside?" Sean asks, tilting his head. "But - why?"

"I came to see you. I needed to see you." David pulls the quilt tighter, trying not to spill his tea. "I like your living room."

"Thank you, I just got the new sofa." Sean says. "See me? Why?"

"Did you mean it? What you said, at the premiere. Did you mean it when you said just because we didn't expect more didn't mean you couldn't have wanted more?"

Sean's frozen, staring at David and his heartbeat's the loudest thing in the room when another gust of wind rattles a window and he jumps slightly, blinking. "Yes, yes - I meant it - I - we - yes."

"Was it just then? A wish that's stuck in the past?" He looks up, eyes locked with Sean's.

Slowly, Sean shakes his head.

David releases a breath he's been holding for a solid week, his head dropping forward as he relaxes. He closes his eyes, composing himself again and looking up at Sean, blinking hard.

Reaching gently, Sean cups David's face, thumbs brushing over the cheekbones. He leans in and presses his mouth against David's.

He moans softly, the sound swallowed up by the kiss, pulling back a moment later and looking into Sean's eyes once again. "You know, don't you? That I... I left him. Three days ago."

"You did?" Sean asks, looking down for a second before locking his gaze on David. "I - I'm glad." The words are soft and quiet.

"It wasn't fair to him. He's a good man, and it wasn't fair," David explains, setting down the cup and reaching for Sean's hand, lacing their fingers together.

Sean nods. "I'm sorry, for him - I'm sorry - but I'm - glad." He repeats, bringing their clasped hands up and kissing the knuckles.

"I had to," David whispers, smiling as he watches Sean's lips brush against his fingers. "I had to do it. Sean, I..."

"I know, I - me too." Sean says, matching David's smile as he pulls the man close and wraps an arm around his shoulders, kissing him deeply.


End file.
